Cross Country Skiing

I just finished my 3rd adventure on cross country skis. Not that walking two blocks to our local park is considered an adventure unless you are me and couldn't make it on the special olympics team with my inability to reason with gravity. Some people you see skiing and you think how graceful as they pass you by in that beautiful long legged nordic kind of movement that makes you think of Swan Lake on skis. Then there are people like me that when people see you coming they do this strange contortion which involves them opening up their arms as if you were their 80 year old grandmother who just got a hip replacement their feet become firmly planted and a look of either sheer pity or terror freezes on their polite canadian faces depending on how much you are flailing your arms and if the tips of your poles are really really sharp. I have seen both and I want to apologize right now to that group of kindergarteners that I mowed over the other day. Hey is it my fault the have small legs and can't move fast?

On my second adventure on skis I found that I have the unique ability to fall down going uphill on the flat or just standing not moving. Anyone can fall down going down a hill, I mean what does that take? But to fall just putting on my skis that is a talent that should not be ignored.

Today on my third trip skiing I only fell down once. I would like now to issue a warning to anyone else who skis on the trail that I do. I find no humour in having a ski hill - though slight, ok it's hardly an incline I mean if you put a ball at the top of the incline and kicked it really really hard it would roll pretty darn fast down it, that goes straight for a lake that has a sign in front of it DANGER STAY OFF THE ICE. Learning the skill of falling down I was able to stop myself from finding out just how thin is that ice? But if Saskatchewan wants in increase their population I suggest not having a trail that heads directly for a lake that is possibly 2 to 3 feet deep. I mean height challenged midgets would possibly be wiped off the earth if they went on this trail.

I shall continue with learning this skill until I am talented enough to carry a rifle and while I ski to take out anyone I find snickering at my lack of grace on the snow. Because that is the Alberta way and if Texas had snow it would be their way. But I live in Saskatchewan so here I believe it is ok to wound them, or stab them, but not kill them.

On future blogs I will discuss with you snow shoeing and like who it hell thinks that would be considered a sport?