So I lost my sense of humour, so sue me

I don't know what happened. One day I was the funniest, most clever woman on the planet then I turned 48 years old and it seemed to all go to shit. Ok I'm not saying that was the reason why I haven't been writing. I believe I started boring myself with what I wrote. Then the pressure of waiting to become a permanent resident started pressing down on my heart leaving me with an impending sense of doom. Well if I was any kind of writer I would be sharing those dark moments with you too, but I didn't want to discuss them. Then well my hair went to shit and we all know what happens when your hair turns against you.

The clincher was the Corner Gas show on writing blogs and how no one reads them. Fuckers. I then started looking at other people's blogs and realized that they had a point to their blogs whereas I really didn't. So I am going to change my perspective on my blog. Being that I just recently got my permanent residency (Thank you immigration and a special blessing goes out to Jared, Jocelyn's brother who has special powers in Ottawa and made one phone call and within a week I was getting my residency).

Man I feel all rusty, still don't think I got my mojo back when it comes to writing. This I hope improves with time.

Big things happening where I live though -
the Loonie is on parity with the American Dollar - which means I want magazines and books to cut that shit out about different pricing. People Magazine should never ever be over 4.oo.

Living in the Alpha-Ghetto, big stuff happening. What is the Alpha-Ghetto? It is the area on the west side of Saskatoon (also known as the hood) where the Avenues go by the alphabet. Therefore the name. Last night at about midnight 5 cop cars go racing down the street. What proceeded was either an extended gun fight that lasted a long time or the cops and neighbors were trading fire crackers with each other.

Turn on the news this morning and did they talk about it? Nope they talked about the guy whose truck was hit by a train because he was on the train track in traffic waiting for the light to change. Though he wouldn't talk to the reporter, other people stated that when he saw the train coming he jumped out of his truck to wave the train to stop. People, a train a 1/2 a mile long does not usually stop on a dime even if it could. I doubt that the engineer of the train purposely took out his truck because he was sick to death of assholes parking their vehicles on the train tracks.

Other news, looking for a job. I am officially done with being an illegal immigrant and painting fences, mowing lawns and stuff. I am appreciative of everyone who paid me under the table, but to tell you the truth with winter coming on, these jobs usually dry up pretty quickly. You try and paint a fence with a frozen paint brush.

So the grand news is, I get to go home to see my mother who I haven't been able to see for two years and I can take some time to come to grips that my father really is gone.

So no, I have to admit this wasn't the funniest post but maybe this will make you laugh.

While being interviewed by immigration, they immigration officer asked me how I liked Canada. I said I loved it, but that I was first confused when I was asked to play Shinny. I asked why would women get on the ice and do the shimmy (at this point I proceeded to shake my tits at him without thinking. I was trying explain what I meant). He stared at me for a moment and then smiled and said, well that could be an interesting thing to see.

Immediately after that I was approved.

For those of you who are confused by what I did, watch this video from the VonFoxies from Seattle and at probably 2:19 you will see what I did for Mr. Immigration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilc6ff2mLqQ