Saskatchewan loses 10,000 young people a year

That is a statistic I read in the Prairie Dog Newspaper. Which is a great newspaper if you are from Seattle it would be like reading the Stranger or the Seattle Weekly. So there seems to be this huge brain drain on this province. What the "spin" is, is that they are all "moving" to the province called Texas of the North which is directly west of us. We will call that the province that won't be named who is run by a ruler named Ralph he looks something like this :


Man the guy must spend a shitload on contacts for that one eye. Cause you know you can't just buy one contact so even though he just needs one he has to buy two at a time. No wonder why he is so off the deep end with anger and just plain greediness.

Since I do have an enourmous amount of time on my hands I have been doing some research into these so called "migration" of Saskatchewan youth to the province that shall not be named. In the same way I blew the cover off the story of suicidal lemmings and stupid pedestrians I shall also do the same for this story.

We all know that the province that shall not be named is a "have" province. This term for those of you who are didn't know means a province that has like a whole bunch of natural reserves of stuff that the United States really, really wants and so they sell the stuff to the United States and make tons of money off them, expect for the tariff on the Softwood market and we won't even go there cause that just really irritates both sides, almost enough to have the U.S. send Dick Cheney north for a so called "bird hunting trip". So the "have" province's are British Columbia cause they make lots of films up there and pretend they are in Seattle or LA or other places but without the palm trees and Pamela Anderson was born there. You have the province that shall not be named ruled by Ralph the great overlord of stuff and they have lots and lots of oil and natural gas. Then there is Saskatchewan and they have some oil, some natural gas and uranium. Oh yeah isn't that exciting? Yep we have the biggest deposit of uranium in the world. And since we have that here every thinks that all the nuclear waste should also be stored here. And while we are at it why don't we just go and build ourselves a Nuclear Power Plant. So we can power all the homes that aren't being lived in because everyone is moving west.

Then there is Manitoba and they make like a gazzilion moccasins.

And there are a bunch of province's east of here but they don't much matter. They speak french and have film festivals and have little bitty islands where they talk with an accent and really know how to sing up a song or two and I hear are quite funny.

Now that I have given you an overview of Canada let me tell you what is really happening to those 10,000 saskatchewans every year. Do you really think they are moving or do you think that maybe they are being snatched away in the middle of the night and being forced into slave labour working in the oil fields and sadly having to live in these overcrowded conditions :


Where many work for companies who are sucking the oil out of these oil sands in the northern part of the province that shall not be named.











What can one person do to stop this insanity? Well I figure if we got one or two really short people, a wizard and some elves or something it shouldn't be too hard to kick old Ralph's ass.

But whatever we do, don't you feel we need to save these young people from a life wearing horizontal stripes that make their hips look wider then need be?

And really Dick, is shooting birds with really little wings really necessary?