If you are going to live in Canada these are important tips

Having lived here since September 1st I believe now have enough knowledge to provide anyone who wants to live here or visit here valuable tips on how to fit in with the natives. Canadians are the nation of really polite people and on the whole they put an upbeat spin on most things that am still trying to understand. While watching the Olympics on CBC, they will show every Canadian no matter what place they came in. Even if it was 35 they are shown on TV and the announcer will say, it's a young team and they are here just for the experience, wait until the Vancouver games we will see a lot of metals from these wonderful young athletes. Now that is just plain cool. These kids are excited if they make in the top 20 and everyone cheers them on. Where the polite thing comes in is the Women's Canadian Hockey team in their first two games kicked some major ass. Like 16 to 0 vs. Italy and I think 12 to 0 vs Russia. I was impressed first because I was even watching a hockey game and two that they kicked ass. But there were many emails sent into CBC complaining that it was unsportsmanlike to win by that many points, especially against the host cities team. http://www.cbc.ca/olympics/sports/icehockey/stories
Now that is what I am talking about when I say they are nice up here and didn't they look like a bunch of fuzzy little red and white baby seals in their outfits when they walked in on opening ceremonies, minus the flippers and well I'm sorry a baby seal's eyes are much cuter, wouldn't you agree? Plus baby seals are helpless, not like those really mean Women Hockey Players eyes.















Other things I've learned why living up here is Regina is murder capital of Canada. I think this is wrong since Canada doesn't have capitals like the United States so how could it be the capital. When I ask people about this, they go tsk, tsk, (they do that up here) and say it isn't as bad as it sounds. See it's based on number of murders per capita. For those of you who are as confused as I was, it's not like there are more murders then let's say Toronto or Vancouver there are just fewer people here, but the ones that are here like to kill more. See? doesn't that make sense. Anyway I am told they are mostly done with knives (that's why drive by killings are so rare you would have to have a pretty big knife and good aim to throw a knife and take someone out, but be worried if you step outside your house and there are 30 to 40 steak knives peppering the outside wall of your house) and most people are killed by friends and relatives, which means I am pretty much safe from ever being murdered here in Regina.

Another big thing you need to know is how to buy things for BONUS AIR MILES. Oh this is a big deal up here. Especially with paper products. Ok here is the deal. You have to get an airline bonus mile card. Then when you shop at certain places you get air miles depending on how much you buy. But when you go grocery shopping at Safeway you can get SOMETIMES 30 TO 40 BONUS AIRMILES if you buy about 48 rolls of toilet paper or 18 rolls of paper towels. Do not ask me why this fetish with paper products, but trust me on this, you could go to anyones house up here and I swear they must use the crap for insulation or something, because even if you were a slob or had anal leakage there is no way in hell you could use up the paper products as fast as they want you too.

If you want to blame someone on the rainforests being cut down, blame it on the BONUS AIR MILES