F is for Farmer

So you are thinking to yourself, what does this crazed chick now think we are so dense that we need to be taught the alphabet? Come on people that is silly, other then you all not knowing how to say the letter "Z" correctly I know you know the alphabet.

No today's discussion is on driving in Saskatchewan on a weekend. Yesterday we were driving to a mall that had a Walmart in it. This is not unusual since every mall in either Regina or Saskatoon has a Walmart, the ones that don't have a Walmart are of no worth and people usually drive by these malls with utter contempt and spit on them while driving by. Or maybe they have too much chew in their mouths and their wife is tired of cleaning that slimy shit out travel mugs.

As I was saying we were driving to a mall on a Saturday and we were on Circle Drive. Suddenly out of no where Barb puts her hand on the dashboard to brace herself and says in a very tense tone, "watch out that mini van has an "F" on it. Being used to her bracing herself while I was driving I wasn't too concerned but I am still learning the vernacular of the language up here and I just couldn't figure out what in the hell was she talking about.

I looked around feeling somewhat frantic that I missed something and she said "F means Farmer up here" My brain beginning to hurt said but thinking this is some driving game said, "G is for Gnome?" "No she said, the F on his license plate means they are from the farm". I wanted argue that what was wrong with G for Gnome instead deciding this was neither the time nor the place to argue my point.

Then watching the road again I saw what she meant. Here traveling down the middle of the road, slamming on their brakes suddenly, turning quickly in front of another car to get in the correct lane (ok part of that I did but I refuse to tell you which part ) was a blue mini van full of a family of farmers trying to get to their destination of the weekend, a day at Walmart.

Now why would the province label these hard working people with a scarlet F so to speak for the world to see. I thought it seemed demeaning to them. Like watch out here comes those "F"ing Farmers. But there a method to their madness. I think that these salt of the earth people who are forced to drive mini vans get a discount on their insurance or something for being a farmer. In Alberta I know the driving age for a farm kid is something like 14, but I dislike discussing Alberta so I am sorry I even brought it up.

Now watching the driver of the van I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. They weren't driving their vehicle like it was a combine and taking up the entire highway. That I'm afraid was me, because damned if in the winter time I can figure out some times which is a lane and which is me driving like a total idiot.

I had hoped that this post was going to go somewhere quite witty. I fear it isn't because once I looked deep inside my driving patterns up here, I would have to admit that I need a designation of "F" on my license plate that would stand for Watch the fuck out it's a fucking foreigner.