To Scream Like a Girl

There is nothing more humiliating then screaming like a girl, unless you are guy who screams like a girl and then I guess that would be a bit worse.

This morning I was calling Barb and leaving a message, I walked into the backroom and stepped on something that squirmed and was kind of fluttery and fuzzy. I screamed several times into the phone which Barb will now probably save.

I looked down and it was a ginormous bumble bee. It was on it's back. So I turned it over. Then I wondered why would I do that? It is like setting someone loose and then shooting them in the back. It made me feel dirty and evil so I walked away.

Then Barb called and I explained the situation and said I am going to send it a cat to kill it. She said I can't do that the cat will be stung. I thought better me then a cat. So from a distance I
I watched the fuzzy bugger and it kept following the sunlight, like it was sun bathing.

I decided that I couldn't have a fuzzy winged thing with a stinger sunning himself back room all day so I gently picked it up and threw him out in the back patio where the dogs are thinking, they can handle this.

Fucker landed on his back again. I had no choice but to go out and right him. I come back a few minutes later, I look out side and the bastard is sunny himself again where I will be coming in and out. The dogs were giving him no mind. So I did what was the only humane thing I could do at that point.

I went out with a newspaper and nudged him ever so gently. The bastard gathered up steam and huge buzzing noise (that is where the word Bee comes from the buzzing) the fat fuzzy bastard took off aiming for my head.

Unfortunately I screamed again.

He missed my head and slowly headed for the sun.

I am sure I will find him somewhere in my house again, when I least expect it.

I wonder also why I am suddenly writing as if I am English. I must have some English born talking disease.