How do you deal with Depression?

You would think to start out with that I would be doing all my depression related posts in the middle of a howling snow storm in the dead of winter, that is when most people usually in the old days would just leave their sod hut on the prairies and walk out into a white out never to be seen again until spring time. Dial up connections will do that to you trust me.

But I have been suffering from a bit of depression of late. Well that is a lie because a bit of depression most likely looks like oh damn I don't think I will do my nails today. That's a bit of depression. Then there is the depression that sometimes hits me like an Ashlee Simpson song. Yep it is that bad, scary bad. When I get a depressed I write lists that start out with.

• Get out of bed
• No I mean it get the fuck out of bed
• Ok sleep for another hour and then you must get out of bed or you will wet the bed then you will have to change the sheets
• Screw it I will pretend I have a water bed that has sprung a leak.

As you can see this is not something that can be fixed by singing songs from the Sound of Music or by clogging. Nope this is serious stuff.

So let us say I do get out of bed. Then there is the TV. I believe anyone who is depressed should stay AWAY FROM DR. FUCKING PHIL, talk about a baldheaded bastard who forces his poor wife to listen to his dribble every single frigging day and then at the end of the show he drags her off as if she is in a mild coma of some kind.

As you can see I am learning to stay away from sitting there watching TV. Yesterday was a bad day for food, because generally if something is bothering me and the world is weighing heavy on my shoulder I try to be very buddist and try and become like a locust, I swarm into the kitchen making mumbling sounds and I circle the kitchen once before I open of the fridge and eat anything that involves fat or carbs. Some times that means I eat crackers with cheese, or cheese with potato chips or, just cheese, or just potato chips or crackers and if there is anything with sugar about that is refined into a cookie or candy I will consume that. My eating will stop as soon I can feel the last bit sitting at the top of my throat ready to come out.

Then I sit and wish that I understood the concept of bulimia better. I mean I get that you eat like a locust and the throw up. Makes sense to me, but since I have an issue with procrastination, by the time I get around the puking part, it is totally too late.

It is unfortunate that in my life I have been unable to use the same techniques that have worked for millions in losing weight.

• I don't puke so that's out, well unless I eat scallops and then all bets are off
• I tried to take speed to lose weight and all I did was eat faster
• I tried that no carb diet but after sitting down and eating a side of beef, I don't care what they say the weight just didn't fall off of me
• I avoid mirrors like a vampire so I don't have that issue of looking in the mirror and seeing a fat person, usually what I see is a blur as I run by them screaming.

So why am I now going through this at this time of my life?

Because I live in a frigging small city in the middle of the frigging prairies and though nice it is hard to make friends here and I don't have a college education and I'm not Canadian and I have big hair.

I am hoping my next post will show you pictures of Jill McAllister's new hairdo from Global news because you tell me -

• Is she really the reincarnation of Medusa?
• Or does her hair stylist have a drinking problem plus really hate her and gave her a perm that would scare women from Kentucky*.

*This is in no way a derogatory remark about women in general from Kentucky. In fact I actually know one woman from Kentucky and not only does she not have big hair, but she is in fact smart, funny and knows where Canada is, not like a lot of people from the states.