More Canadian Etiquette and Survival

There are things Canadians will tell you and things you just need to learn on your own. I don't know if it is because Canadians are too polite to tell you or just their quirky sense of humour. First of all if you decide to wash your car follow these steps

1. Wash it before you see pieces of it fall off from rust.
2. Don't wash it if it is -20 Celsius
3. If you are stupid enough to do that really make sure when you go through the dryer part of the car wash you use up the entire allotted time
4. If you have done number two and not adequately done number 3 you will find out the "clear coat protection" they have offered is not wax, but a sheet of ice from which you have become entombed because you were stupid enough to do number 2 and now can't open your door without using tremendous physical force slamming your body against the inside of the door.
5. It also helps to check to see if you accidentally pushed the lock mechanism cause you have a really crappy head cold and took way too much Day Quil Cold Medicine.

Other car etiquette to be aware of; During the winter snow and ice or slush freeze up behind your tires to create huge lump of slush shit that you need to kick off because sometimes it infringes on you being able to turn your tires and that is bad. Because then you might be mistaken for an elderly driver from Moose Jaw and that is so not cool. This formation looks like this:

These snow turds as I like to call them need to be kicked off. But it totally rude and I mean totally rude to kick these things off at other people driveways, places of businesses or in the street in front of where they live.

Why you ask, it's only a combination of H20, mud, salt, oil, grease and maybe the odd pedestrian that you didn't see.

Because for some reason Canadians think you kicking your snow turds off on their property the same way as if you went to their house and didn't flush their toilet after using it.

The same way as if you didn't take your shoes off when you enter their home (everyone takes their shoes off, even the movers who bring furniture) they usually are missing a toe or two but it is rude to call them stubby.

The same way as if you let your 5 dogs use their front yard as a bathroom and not clean up after it.

Therefore if you come upon a situation where your car accidentally has left a snow turd behind, it is important to keep a box of these in your car at all times, so that you can pick them up and place them in the appropriate trash recycling bin or something like that.

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