Myrtle Muggle

Having been a bit stressed out of late I found that spending all day long playing computer games and watching Dr. Phil I realized that even as bad off as I am, I am not fucked up enough to get on his show. Dr. Phil is the Jerry Springer of the middle class social scene. When I do go out it is to take Barb and Chasidy to work, pick them up and if lucky I go to the butcher where I see all those slabs of meat and think to myself, well at least they aren't alone. Well you tell me, could it get any worse then that to think that a piece of dead meat has more company then me? I agree totally with your conclusion is that the stress and changes I have made in my life have caught up with me and I am in need of a bit of professional care. So I call the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) where Barb works. They are always very kind with that very soft , let's get off the ledge kind of voice and they ask a few questions. Well because my father died, I can't work, I don't have any close friends, I feel isolated and I hate shoveling snow. This last one was what made the young woman realize I needed immediate assistance. So she asked what do you want from a therapist and I said, someone who isn't homophobic and will throw stone at me in a small office and someone with a sense of humour.

I get a call back from the clinic with the name of my temporary therapist. And what is her name? Get a clue I put it in the subject line - Myrtle Muggle. Now for anyone who has never seen a Harry Potter Movie then you might as well quit reading here because you probably won't get the humour in this.

I asked for someone with a sense of humour, not someone who is not only a Muggle - I mean I really need some magic here not your basic Muggle. But I get a Myrtle Muggle and as everyone knows (except for those of you who haven't watched the movie and I asked you politely the first time to quit reading kay?) Moaning Myrtle was the young woman who hung out in the woman's bathroom in the school and caused all sorts of mischief.

I am not one to judge someone before I meet them, but I mean what should I expect. Someone with a tight perm, sensible shoes and glasses.

I mean it is all rather funny to think that off all the people I could have as a therapist I get someone with such an astounding name.

So next Tuesday I will be meeting the one and only Myrtle Muggle for a few sessions.

I do hope she can give me some pointers on shoveling snow.