Well here you and I are, the dead zone between the gathering and giving of gifts and entrance of the New Year where amateur drinkers drink heavily and puke loudly. They spend excessive money to wear funny hats, blow silly horns that end up full of drool so when midnight comes along they go splattt instead of wheeeeee. Both sounds are equally irritating, but the splattt one is worse when you get a faceful of someones spit while they try without success to make a sound that is similar to a cow farting.
I being a recovering alcoholic find the new year pretty boring. I can go to a party and watch others make an ass of themselves. I being who I am can do this without the use of alcohol which is quite a talent. What is more pitiful is staying at home and hanging with Dick Clark who after having a stroke sounds like he has been drinking and bring the new year in with him. What will most likely happen is I will go to bed before midnight and wake up and go huh, it's 2007, right on.
This is also the time when we all prepare to make new years resolutions that will be forgotten once we find out that taking Carb blocker pills don't really work and you in fact have to exercise and lay off loaves of bread at lunch. There are those who decide to quit smoking or drinking and in fact they do quit both these things on New Years Days as they sleep off the night before. I am going to come up with 5 resolutions that I plan on putting on my Blog and with these 5 resolutions I will weekly keep you up to date on my progress. I might put up pictures or direct you to another blog where I am working on a project, but you will have to trust me that I will be honest with you as I work on these 5 resolutions. (This is one of those keep you coming back kind of things)
Other then that my session with Myrtle went well. If you think that crying for two hours over things that happened to you when you were a small child is a success. It didn't involve hot pokers to the eye, thank God. What I did is I was given two small pads that are charged with electricity. So they don't zap but buzz your hands, sort of like vibrators for midgets. I go back to a memory, the things buzz in my hands, I cry (not from the buzzers) and then recount the memory, we discuss, go back to the memory and look at it from a different point of view and so and so forth. Taking the energy out the memory I suppose. I didn't leave there with any wows or new realizations since I have been doing this therapy for about forever though I did back into their fence since I was rather spaced out. I think going though these memories gets kind of old after awhile. Everyone has had shit in their lives, some when they where children, some when they were adults. At some point it is about moving on, letting go and becoming responsible for the life I have today. My grief over daddy dying will take a long time to heal, but my life can't come to a screeching halt because of it.
That is why I am so excited about the Christmas Present I got from Barb - it's a 4 month course in beginning acting with a performance at the end of the course in May. That is like a dream come true, it gives me hope and directs my energy to something I love. I can use my humour, doing stand up and my weirdness in a positive and great way.
So yes today I have hope for my future. Now if only I could get rid of my frigging cold that I have had since last Saturday I would be so very happy.
Next Post - my New Years Resolutions and the do's and don'ts of creating your own list.
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