Fuck You Bank of America - warning there are ALOT OF SWEAR WORDS IN THIS POST

You would think I am living in Uzbekistan or some small country under a dictatorship with two long distance phone lines for the entire population to use.

All I want to fucking do is talk to a HUMAN FUCKING BEING. But I use their fucked up 1 800.900.9000 stupid fucking number and by the fucking way just because a number is easy to fucking remember doesn't mean it does you any fucking good if you CAN'T GET THROUGH. Because the motherfucking dog shit eating, fucktards, loser DNA pieces of shit have a phone system AND an email system that will not let me get through. I mean I go though the pushing numbers and feeling like an ass when the fuckhead guy's voices keeps asking if he needs to repeat the choices like I can't remember 4 fucking options. Then when the condescending piece of mutant mass of arrogance voice discovers that somehow in the move I don't have my account number for my loan he says with a sigh (I just know he does) wait while we put you through to an associate who can direct your call to a person who talks really really slow for assholes like me. So ok I will be a really really slow stupid asshole if they want me to as long as I can talk to someone, but wait then they say we have picked YOU to do a survey after talking to the associate. Hell by now I will pay you pin dick bug fuckers to do the survey if I COULD TALK TO YOU. So I wait, they transfer me and damn if I am not cut off 3 fucking times.

So then I use the email. First I put in my old address in Washington with my phone number up here. No that's a no go. Then I try to use my address up here because well the fucking email system lets you put in different countries, but you can only pick from the 50 fucking states, so that kicks back to you.

Then I put in my parents address and phone number and they think I am full of shit and am lying because they say that is incorrect information. My parents have had the phone number and address for 50 fucking years, how can it be incorrect you assfucks.

So then I think Ah ha, I will call the other number for banking. Get the call center, get a human, she says she will stay with me on the line until I get someone. We get someone, but wait, they can't help me so where do they transfer us (now also by the way, no offense to people from the south but just because you have a lovely voice and sound really kind it doesn't mean you are going to calm my raging brain) to the same fucking system that I just got booted off of 3 times. So the woman who is trying to help me, gets me to the point of talking to an associate but now I am on hold and of course my phone is now starting to snap, crackle and pop more then a fresh bowl of Rice Krispies and she says well do you think you can handle it from here? I say yes and she hangs up and I GET FUCKING DISCONNECTED.

So at the moment I am feeling a bit perturbed.